I am incredibly touched by the messages I have received from my post, and to know that there people that have taken something away from it, I am truly happy. I want nothing more than to turn all the negatives in my life into something positive for someone else. That way, they were never really negative for me 🙂
I received a message from someone that had read my post and apologised for being someone that had given me a hard time because they were threatened by things about me that they could not see in themselves. It makes me very sad that people can’t see just how beautiful and special they are too! This person had taken their own insecurities out on me and the negative things that had happened to them in their lives, and said they wished they had put their envy and resentment aside to appreciate being my friend.
I am so blown away, and want this to be a message to everyone that people are truly capable of change! They can turn all of that hate into positivity through just understanding and coming to terms with why they are a certain way. Everyone has unlimited potential, and is beautiful and capable of being the very best version of themselves if they can turn around and view things in a different way.
To know that I have encouraged this person to see everything in a positive way, is amazing.
I have forgiven and wish to move on to one day have a positive relationship with people such as this, and help lift them up in the way they have needed. There have been instances where I struggled to understand people’s actions where they have followed me in cars and yelled insults at me, or into bathrooms where they said they would shove my head in the toilet, threatened to hurt themselves or myself and have even approached my family with other people prepared to hurt them, or have written long Facebook posts trashing me and telling awful, negative lies about me after I have tried to point out the error of their ways in what they’ve done to me, and I couldn’t understand it. I did try to help these people, by giving them lots of money, time, and care, but it is something within themselves that they need to change. I don’t believe there are good people and bad people. I believe there is good inside everyone, and I am willing to give anyone a chance, and a second chance.
But rather than feel sorry for myself, I would rather these people get the dire help that they need. There is good in everyone, and I have seen it in so many of these people and just wish they could have built on the goodness that they were capable of.
I have struggled with trust issues, been scared of people, and would always just assume people didn’t like me or want me around because of these experiences, and to even come to the point of suicidal thoughts at different times in my life, just shows how we can turn around our perspectives of ourselves and of others. At my very lowest, I thought to myself, “I am at my crossroads. I can either let all of this hurt and hate kill me, or I can pick myself up of the bathroom floor, look my reflection dead in the eye and tell myself that I am going to take control and fight for the only life I have.” Every day is a little step forward, and every day counts. I’ve had to toughen up, try and see some value in me worth fighting for, and do something that will make me proud of being who I am, regardless of what has happened in my past. I have nothing to lose. Even if I’m still walking this road alone, I will finally have my own back. I deserve this. So do you.